Sloppy, Pineapple, Burger were the bottom three in the batting order tonight against Ciao Mambo. You might remember Ciao Mambo — they brutally destroyed us during the preseason tournament and it was ciao, mambo. I think we’ve held our own against them since the early dismantling.

Tonight, . . . → Read More: Sloppy Pineapple Burger wins!]]> OK, we’re still the O-fers, but it looks good in a headline.

Sloppy, Pineapple, Burger were the bottom three in the batting order tonight against Ciao Mambo. You might remember Ciao Mambo — they brutally destroyed us during the preseason tournament and it was ciao, mambo. I think we’ve held our own against them since the early dismantling.

Tonight, the final score was 13-6, aided by two homeruns by Mike Black and another from Dale Way, the Hamburglar. It was a close game for a while, and when we scored our fifth run of the game, I think it’s safe to say most of us assumed that we would stop there. Five runs has been a lot for us lately.

But no, we went nuts in the later innings, relatively speaking, and put the game rather safely away by the sixth.

‘Course the real story of the night was Salty Bohn, International Man of Mystery. Taking center stage when the umpire didn’t show, Ol’ Salt not only caught a good game, but umpired pretty darn well for five innings. Let’s just say that as a ballplayer, Bohn makes one hell of an umpire. The Statue of Liberty/Take a Dump on the Baseline play was not such a success. Apparently he was rooting for an earthquake so he could score in the confusion.

It was a good game, despite our shortstop and Art! being absent. Doubleheader on Thursday next week.

Granted, Hicks is in a lot of debt, so he might not see a lot of the money coming his way. He isn’t really the reason I’m writing this . . . → Read More: Don’t worry about baseball owners]]> It’s been reported recently that Tom Hicks, owner of the Texas Rangers, is selling his baseball team to an investment group with Nolan Ryan as its public face.

Granted, Hicks is in a lot of debt, so he might not see a lot of the money coming his way. He isn’t really the reason I’m writing this post. It’s really about the players and the cries of selfishness you hear whenever one of them signs a big-bucks deal. Balderdash. Right now at least, there’s plenty of money to go around in major league baseball.

The next time someone starts to complain about how much money the players are making, consider this:

1. Hicks bought the team in 1998 for a reported $250 million.

2. Twelve years later, he is selling the team for a reported $550 million.

3. Even if you assume he did nothing but break even with the Rangers in the intervening 12 years (and he didn’t, for which reason see below), that is a 6.8 percent rate of return on his investment.

4. Even reducing his profit by an average of 3 percent inflation, he came out ahead by $200 million.

5. When you buy something, you try to determine a price based on the item’s value to you. A buck for a candy bar is reasonable because that’s how much you value it. You won’t pay ten bucks for a Hershey’s because (a) you know you can find the same candy bar somewhere else for less money and (b) a $10 candy bar will not provide you with as much value as $10 that you spend in a different way. On hookers, for example.

5a. For investors, the question of “what is value?” is pretty darn simple: Taking into account all the factors that they can, how much money do they expect to make off that investment in the future (plus an acceptable amount of profit)? For the Rangers’ investors, the answer is $550 million, plus or minus.*

* They might have gotten what they think is a good deal. If they really think the team is worth $600 million, but Hicks was willing to sell for $550 million, then of course they will take the lower price.

5b. It stands to reason that if the Rangers were only breaking even for the last 12 years, and were expected to break even or — Bud Selig gasps! — lose money in the future, then their sale price would be $0. Obviously, baseball teams are not, by and large, losing money.

He bought the team for $250 million. He paid A-Rod another $250 million, and ate most of that contract even though A-Rod left town. He sold the team for $550 million.

Players in general are not overpaid, and they aren’t breaking the bank.

Click to embiggen … if . . . → Read More: Scariest graph of the day]]>

Click to embiggen … if you dare.

Click . . . → Read More: Second scariest graph of the day]]>

Click to embiggen.

Update: One . . . → Read More: Ha ha]]> In the course of updating the software behind the website, somewhere all the customization I had done got lost. Just FYI that I am aware of the strangeness.

Update: One step closer!

So Beck wrote the lineup, and for about three innings he looked like a damn genius because we were on pace to win the game 1-0. But, alas, things . . . → Read More: O-fers 17, Lakers Inn 9]]> Salty said I should write something nice, so I will, right after I wish him good luck as the wedding crasher this weekend. Have fun storming the castle!

So Beck wrote the lineup, and for about three innings he looked like a damn genius because we were on pace to win the game 1-0. But, alas, things started to sputter and only quick thinking by Coach Sully put the game back on track*. Whew!

* We got back on track when Coach Sully pulled himself out of the game.

We had good defense, by which I mean nobody made any real egregious errors. Big Cat went deep into the hole *snort* at shortstop to make a play, and Dewey went deep and left *snicker* to make a nice running catch in left field.

The hitting started slow, but picked up after the afore-mentioned benching. I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this, but with Sloppy, Mookie and The Tank back in the lineup, we’re not quite as glacial getting around the bases as we were in April, May and June.

Beasley had a long double in the third inning, which came at a good time because it looked like we might never score again.

Salty came into the game for House and went 2-for-2, including something called a “double” which usually for us is followed by “penetration.” Action Jackson, fresh off watching his son’s baseball team win the state tournament, went 3-for-3 to lift his average off the deathbed.

Who else went nuts? Art! Art! went nuts! Playing like a much younger man*, Art! got on base all three times he batted, including an almost-bases-clearing double deep over the left-centerfielder’s head.

Good win. Routine win, at least after the fifth inning. I like that. Next up is the Coeur d’Alene tournament, which is the usual one-day marathon in a sauna.

* 38

Postscript: When I reviewed the scoresheets, I found a run for the O-fers that apparently the scorekeeper missed. The actual 17-9 score is reflected above.

Rule 1: No ball, no sport. Rule 2: No score, no sport.

Anyone . . . → Read More: Score one for the judge]]> Cheerleading is not a sport, federal judge rules.

Rule 1: No ball, no sport.
Rule 2: No score, no sport.

Anyone wanna argue?

We came into the game with monkeys on our backs. The big monkey was that we haven’t beaten Integrity in two seasons of trying. A couple of the games have been close, but a couple have been ugly blowouts. (I’m looking at . . . → Read More: Integrity Steel 20, O-fers 16]]>

The Evil Monkey switched backs during this game. May Dave enjoy it for a long time.

We came into the game with monkeys on our backs. The big monkey was that we haven’t beaten Integrity in two seasons of trying. A couple of the games have been close, but a couple have been ugly blowouts. (I’m looking at you, 16-5 loss last month.)

The other monkey was that whole triple play business. Bryan hit into one against Integrity during that afore-mentioned loss, so he expected to hold onto the title of “most recent O-fer to hit into a triple play” for a long time, years maybe.

Would you believe 35 days? The monkey switched backs in the fourth inning, when Dave Hunt talled a 6U, 6U, 6-3 triple play that broke out spirits, except that it didn’t. We were down 9-7 at that point, and Integrity scored five more runs in the bottom of the fourth, so we were down 14-7 in the top of the fifth.

We scored three. Then we held ‘em. Then we scored six to take a 16-14 lead. Triple play, schmiple play, right? It’s not a head game if you don’t let it be one.

But then … OK, my stomach still hurts. Integrity scored six in the sixth, including four runs after two outs. Their shortstop, Jeremy Loffer, hit a deep fly ball with a runner on. Dave was under it but had to reach back for it and (ouch) it dropped. Jeremy ended up on third base, until our shortstop threw the ball home (oof) and our catcher missed it (barf). Jeremy scored, and we were down two runs on a ball that should have ended the inning. Two batters later, Tyson hit a two-run homer for Integrity to make the score 20-16.

We had a good chances to win this game and run our league record to 5-3. Instead, we’re 4-4, and very possibly would have been 3-5 if we didn’t have a forfeit win to our credit.

Game Notes: Dewey was ejected in the first inning … Bryan went 3-for-3 with a walk, possibly his first perfect game since jamming his fingers in Moscow six weeks ago … Frank Morden continued his hot streak with a 3-for-4 performance … Scotty Morgan was 4-for-4 in his third game of the season.

Strange Game Note: Gary Beck played second base in both games of a doubleheader, and I can’t remember anyone hitting a ball to him on the ground in either game.